There are such things in life as death that none of us can surpass in the end. Of course, life must run it's course and every party must end. Though, those around us will feel pain and lost, but those feelings will go away and life once again will run it's course. I just had these thoughts in my mind. Live without suffrage, without greed and we will be free when it's our time to go. When i was younger, I never thought that to be true. The ironic thing is how greed was the bases of my life about 3 years ago. I want fame, wealth, love, lust... I want it all. In the process of growing up, I've acquired pain and betrayal all due to the fact that I never cared to listen and thought very little of this precious life of mine.

I am on the journey now to fix my life. Make it better, fill it with people who are going to care about me even if I might be cripple or retarded one day. I am slowly pushing myself up. But I am praying for a chance of redemption ... someday I'll do good to others and will not feel the need to be given back of what I've gave others. I still think that way at times, like when I do something good, I supposed good things will be done to me. Childish thinking, for I should just be happy to help. I am changing my selfish ways slowly and hopefully when I get older, I will be more forgiving, caring and nonjudgemental.

Another thought I have at the end of today... that is I am praying that my love will not lose his love. Cha cua anh tai dang bi bien, nen anh ay rat la buon phien va lo lang. What I"ve learned in the pass 3 years is to cherish the parents that were given to me by god. It was fate that I was born by them and not some ruthless parents. I wish for them to live to witness the glorious day when I can make them proud. Settle myself with a family and stable job. Then I will give them all that I can back. For they never ask for anything in return but in my heart and soul I know if they did, I will have to spend the rest of my life to give it back to them. That's why I understand that when his parent is sick, he is really afraid and hurt inside. Despite the fact that he is with me, he still feels alone ... because no matter how much he currently loves me, nothing compares to the love of a child and their parents. I am just praying for the best...........

Now leaving the "day" despite the fact that it's 2 am on a Sunday.... I am finally ending my Saturday nite with this video of a song called Nam Mo Ai Di Da Phat.... to soothe the soul.